If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
