he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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