He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
