reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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