I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
