Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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