remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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