So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
