dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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