are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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