Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
