Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
