I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
