fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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