Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
