am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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