if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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