Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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