you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
