There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
