Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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