Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
