just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
