Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
