Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
