I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
