physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
