Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
