You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
