I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
