my mouth tastes like poor choices
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
