He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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