dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
