My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
