I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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