I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
