Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize