so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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