yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize