So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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