Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
