Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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