At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I need to calm my uterus...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
