White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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