i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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