I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
