Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
