singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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