I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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