my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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