Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
