I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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