Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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