So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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