I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
