Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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