why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And then my night got REAL pukey
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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